SKB progress

But first, a little cuteness diversion. That's Molly (stripy cat) sitting on Tristan's head in the window. I guess he was there first and she maneuvered in on him for quality solar regeneration. Ellie was sitting on the chair and wanted to say hi as I was clicking.




Here's the SKB so far. Pay no attention to my jammies and the random shit on my countertop. Can't wait to do the finishing edges on the neck to see how much it actually reveals. But I LOVE it. I knit a few rows before starting the lace after having to rip it out b/c when I tried it on the first time the purl rows were on my boobs...not good.



The lace took forever on size zero needles. Bleh. But that's what it took to get gauge. Finally finished that section and the purl ridges last night and I've done 3 repeats of the hip increases today. I should be finished with the body soon, but I'm feeling the crunch on finishing my funky scarf for the swap, so I may put this on hold until that's completed.



Also, I love these beads and I think I've used them effeciently enough so that I'll have plenty for the sleeve lace sections. They're size 11 in dark cranberry. This is gonna rock once it's finished and blocked. I can hardly wait!! I wanted to wear it to my birthday dinner this weekend, but that's clearly not gonna happen.

buzzed

this blog post brought to you by the letters C (caffeine) and Z (Zyrtech) and the number 2 (2 Dayquil).

the body is on GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO and the brain is on 'huh? slow down i'm sleepy".

yay drugs.

i heart fall

Thank the gods for fall weather and Saturday nights. Seriously. I've had a rough few days, but the wave of cooler weather and the possibility of sweaters at night have really brought my mood back around. I can't wait until the leaves change and we can go shopping for pumpkins and crunch through the dead leaves in our hiking boots. A little piece of zen right there folks. Ahhhhhh.

It also helps that last night Karen, Jenna, Becca, Jen&Zack and I went out after the play. Downtown Athens, post-football game (a win, of course), tons of people everywhere, all having a great time...just yum. I've missed giggling at fashion victim sorority girls who flash too much boob and the boys who stare at them (title of a Springer episode?). The desperate air of "someone PLEASE notice me" is so obvious and sad, and yet, I can't help but snicker at the spectacle of it all. Because it's not just one girl, it's ALL of them. (And also because I used to be one of them...shhh.) Competing for attention, when really, it should be the other way around with the guys trying to impress instead of just ogling at the free show.

Anyway, we had homefries and milk shakes at the Grill, then a stroll around the scenery of downtown. Sadly, I missed the Bling show at Tasty World, but I plan to catch them when they show up again on Halloween at the Georgia Theater.

And this week is especially sweet, because on Saturday night, my sweetie and I along with my older brother and sister-in-law will be dining at Emeril's Atlanta. I'm pretty sure I'll be having Atlantic Salmon and the Banana Creme Pie for dessert. I'll be 30 next Sunday, and I intend to revel in it!

Oh, I also created a new blog over on Vox, just to try it out, but I haven't really done much with it yet. Might keep it as my own private hideaway, though. Still pondering.

(I just noticed this post is very comma-ful, and it's making me giggle. I'm so easily amused.)

and then there's worse

turns out the whole "you DO have a job and a place to live with your six animals for free" thing, is not as certain as it seemed to be. i'll know what IS certain for me and my staff next week (maybe), but we do know than an entire division of our staff is going to be replaced, and potentially all of us will be gone once the buy goes through.

it wouldn't be such a huge deal if i actually knew what was going to happen. i don't enjoy being left without any knowlege, and no way to get any info because no one will answer a direct question or return a phone call. it was never the plan to stay in this place or this job for very long, but i'd like the choice to leave to be MY choice. it's just more stress than i need right now.

i'll be very glad when this play is over, because despite the fact that it's fun and the cast is awesome, it's totally exhausting. but it's a nice distraction from turning 30 next weekend. not that i'm freaking out about that or anything.

no new knitting content here. the poor sweater has been sitting in a paper 'whole foods' bag for over a week now, and very little progress has been made.

i swear there will be more chipperiness someday in the future. promise.

bad, good, and better

Bad: Just the tiniest hint of stress going on at Chez Lotus. I definitely took on too much this month, and I'm paying for it physically. My only opportunities to hit the gym have been my planned visits to see my trainer. Once this play is over though, I'm cycling and lifting with a vengeance. I'll also need to make an appointment with my chiropractor and a massage therapist, cause ow my body is all screwed up. Even when I sleep I don't relax. I dream about drowning and suffocating and being chased by awful things (luckily though some nice guy always saves me, or better, I figure out a way to save myself. woot.). But, I wake up strugging for air, even though I've taken my inhaler and my allergy meds. Bleh.

Good news: I get to keep my job. For now. We find out more details today about benefits and pay (do a little rain dance for more money!), and various other things with the new company. I'm still peeking at other options, but I haven't seen anything that really strikes me yet.

Better news: I'm applying for grad school this week. And taking the GRE or MAT in October. If I get all my shit together in a timely manner, I can start school in January. Woot. And still work during the day. Double woot. And live rent free! I don't think you can triple woot a double woot, so yay instead. I'm just sayin.

In knitting news, I've almost completed the lace panel for the SKB, and I'll post pics later this week. My funky scarf is coming along. And I dropped out of Sock Wars. I know, I was so excited about it. But with this play and the other things I want (need) to work on, I just don't have time, and I *so* didn't want to be out on the first round. I'm a sore loser, what can I say?!? I'd rather take an honorable DPN thru my skein than lose because I'm pressed for time. Ya'll know.

Needless to say, I've been very introspective today. This time five years ago I was getting a divorce, worried about my mom (she works across from a federal building, and at the time, no one knew what the hell to expect next), and pretty damn sure that the world was coming to an end somehow. And in some ways, for a lot of people, it did.

I guess I could go on and on about how our country has changed (for better or for worse) and how we're still not safe, and who we should blame. I haven't had any peace about it today because it still hurts a lot. It broke my heart when I visited the site in March. It made me cry this morning when I watched the CNN coverage from that day. But more importantly, it's made me really grateful for what and who I have in my life. And that is what has dominated my mind today. Yes the anger and the curses, but the gratitude is always underlying.

On to more 'trivial' subject matter. This sweater.



It is stunning. (I'm so in love with purple right now, it's getting quite disgusting.) It fits!!! (Praise all beings I could possibly name.)


But these lace rows are KILLING ME. To get gauge I had to dig out my size ZERO needles. Guess I'm really loose *cough cough*.



They are taking an exorbitant amount of time and cramping my hands in the process. At this gauge, my beloved Highland Silk is being splitty and the beads are barely cooperating. They are also photographing in orange. They are most certainly NOT orange, and if they continue to act in such an offensive manner they may get ripped. That, or the camera gets a good solid flushing. I'm also a bit concerned that I won't have enough beads to do the arms and the trim. Tragedy may ensue.

I'm so incredibly knee-deep in my purple funkiness, that I even dyed yarn that is variegated in purples. Some of it is almost magenta, some a very deep grape crush color.



This pic does it absolutely no justice. Just so you know.

list o' things

first, the offending sweater, pre-divorce.



so far it is behaving itself in ball form. i've shoved the entire bag of yarn into a drawer so it can't mock me openly.

also, i seem to have gotten myself involved in a few more things than i was prepared to handle this month.

1. makeup art direction for 'the tempest' at our local theater. i barely wear makeup myself, so this is getting interesting. still researching and drawing designs. probably gonna need help, unless time stops for about 5 hours every night while i work on everyone.

2. sock wars. i'm not a very fast knitter. guess i should pick up the pace right quick then. this is a sock i'm working on for myself from some simple cable patterns in lorna's laces chino colorway. cause i'm plain like that.



3. simply knitted bodice kal. i heart this design so very much, which is making it hard to want to practice sock knitting. progress so far. i'm using elann's highland silk in autumn purple with some irridescent pink/purple/gold beads. i had to use size 5 needles to get gauge. and i'm diligently checking gauge every few inches, lest i be insulted a second time.



4. funky scarf swap. i have the design charted and supplies purchased. just need time to knit on it a while and make it more of a reality than just 5 rows worth of knitting (though they are lengthwise rows). this is the beginnings of 'the corset scarf'. i'm knitting two separate identical thin scarves that will be joined at this lace section of each by some pretty white ribbon in a crisscross pattern. each side has two 'boning' sections, also threaded with ribbon. i think it will be pretty, and somewhat funky. at the very least, it will be unique! oh, and i'm using elsbeth lavold's hempathy (so in love).



5. and then there's work. plenty to do there. and our company just got bought, so i may not have a job next month. must look for a new job just in case. and a new apartment since my current job provides that for me.

eep.

divorce

Dear Raglan Sweater,

I really thought that this time, you were the one. I fell for your teal colored cotton/angora-ness, your softness and your shape...oh my your shape. I adore the very stuff you're made of and (especially) your gentle touch and warmth, and I even could have learned to love the way your occasional loose fiber would make its way up my nose and cause me to sniffle and sneeze. "Allergies be damned!" I said. Cause when it's love, who cares about a little nose tickle?

So where did we go wrong? When I swatched you, you were a perfect five stitches per inch. Perfect! I know, cause I counted repeatedly, as it seemed too good to be true. So I printed my pattern guide, did all my math based on what you told me, and cast on. But you, Raglan...you lied. Once we actually began, you changed your mind about your gauge. Maybe you saw me working on designs for the funky scarf pattern. Maybe you heard me talk about Sock Wars once too often. Perhaps you saw the printed pattern for the Simply Knit Bodice, and that was Just. Too. Much. And so you sought to get even. Did you silently giggle as you sent angora up my sensitive nose? Were you cackling with glee when I'd try you on and think "hmm, it seems a little big, but it's ok, it's supposed to be a tad big, and besides it's cotton and will shrink a little, so really it's perfect"? Oh how you deceived and deluded me.

I suppose I just fell so in love with how easily we seemed to get along, that I hardly noticed that suddenly you were half a stitch off and becoming far too large for my frame. I made excuses for you. Shame on me. And I would have been faithful! I diligently worked on you, neglecting all other projects in hope of savoring and embracing our time together. But no, you just couldn't trust me. I may have had other yarns on my mind, but you flat out lied. And technically, I didn't cheat.*

I made mistakes here, yes, but so did you. We could have been so beautiful together. Perhaps the timing wasn't right. Perhaps you're really supposed to be a v-neck. Whatever. It's over.


Not exactly cordially,

Mel


P.S. After I've had my way with a few other projects, we'll try again. But until then, you just sit in your bag, all balled up, and think about what you've done.


*As far as you know.

war of the sock

I love a little competitive spirit. I'm such a five year old at heart that just hearing "Wanna race?" makes me very excited. And cocky. I might not win, but I'll go down with attitude. And maybe trip you in the effort. What? It was an accident, I swear.

So it makes sense that Sock Wars has my undivided attention in a sick, perverted Pavlovian way. True, I just got my first actual sock off the needles THIS WEEK (not even the entire pair mind you), so while I might not have mad skilz, my heart and energy should be enough to at least kill my first target.

I'm not so brave, however, as to attempt the insanity going on over here. Ya'll. Is. Crazy. I'm cheering for all the contenders, and placing my bet. I'm on pins and needles, checking blogs for updates like the blog-stalker I am. Ya'll know.

And on a totally unrelated note: I love Entourage right now and I secretly wish that somewhere there's a Ramones movie in production. And I'm sad that this Sunday is the final episode for a while. Jeremy Piven absolutely steals the show, so I might have to watch reruns to get my fix. And Deadwood will be ending Sunday as well. Crap. I was just starting to get into the dialogue cadence and figure out what the hell is going on. I have to watch in captions just to keep up. My favorite interchange is this: Hearst says: Mornin' Dan replies: Best time of the day to go fuck yourself. Still cracks me up.

Knitch, natch

This Saturday, Lisa and I went to the new yarn store, Knitch in Virginia Highlands. This is their very cool metal sculpture bird just outside the door. I love that he's knitting (natch).



The store is gorgeous and the ladies who run it are very friendly and helpful. We spent probably two hours there and shared some good laughs with the owners. There was also much yarn fondling and a mad case of the drools.



Also, for a brand spankin' new yarn shop, there were LOTS of folks just hanging out and knitting. Must. Go. Back.

I really love this stuff, some yarn from Be Good (whose website I can't find, though I'm sure it exists).


My scarf pal digs these pink/orange combos and I almost bought some, but I think I found what I want to make for her in the Recycled Sari Silk area. Still futzing around with patterns and designs, so nothing to show yet. Fawn over the yarn that could have been instead. For now.


This is Rockstar from Tilli Thomas. I *did* buy the silver with the clear glass beads. It's better than sex. And it's mine all mine. I may not even knit it up. It deserves lots of petting and its own special place by my pillow. I'm just sayin.



And they had some skeins from Material Whirled that were just stunning (i was too awed to take pics). I really love Almost Innocent (ha!) and the Skull Skeins. If I were knitting for Amanda, I'd buy Flippin' Monkeys in a second.

In related fiber news, Nate and I are working out the details and debating on attending Rhinebeck or SAFF in Asheville. Both are in October, on consecutive weekends and it would really be cool if we could hit both, but alas, lack of money prevents it. If we went to Rhinebeck, we'd spend a few days in Boston, and maybe NYC (not sure I can stomach the NYC twice in one year) then the weekend in Rhinebeck. If we go to Asheville, it would just be for the weekend. But a gorgeous fall weekend with red/yellow/orange leaves and beautiful mountains! Not that Rhinebeck won't be pretty, but it would definitely be more expensive. Guess which way I'm leaning.

Oh! And I *can* make socks! I finally got the nerve (read: patience) to sit down and figure out kitchener stitch to close the toe. Took me a few tries, cause I kept looking at my work and thinking, "good lord, that's got to be the most retarded toe I've ever seen...it can't be right". But it was. And it's a perfectly functional toe and maybe the most beautiful ever.





Do pardon the hairy leg. I was so excited that I didn't even bother to shave for my closeup.

bring me (back) to life

please?

i'm exhausted (and boring it would seem). so tired that i'm taking naps at lunch, and usually sleeping over my hour break. even our friend pete (who i can barely find time to chat with, even via gmail, and even then if i'm not totally slammed at work and *then* if the retardation that is our dsl connection is working - seriously it's like working in a third world country sometimes) asks the other day "where is the happy no-stressy mel? i miss her'. and all i could reply is 'i dunno, but if you see her, send her this way'.

i think i might have a day off this week. sunday. then it all starts over again with a stupid monday. but at least i've become aware of what day it is. baby steps toward my eventual return to normalcy.

work is nuts, though slowly calming. students are back in town. chaos ensues. sec college football starts in two weeks, and while i dont just adore the extra 80k people in town when all i really want to do is get some groceries, the games are fun to watch on tv as long as there are good friends and good beer nearby. i've only stepped into our football stadium twice in my life, and i'll never go back. thanks to beer spillages and random grabbings of my ass, it's football on tv from here on out for me. keep your frat boy mitts to yourself, thank you very much.

also, i've managed to fend off the work drama queens with laughter. they tell me their drama stories of the frat house or the gay boys and i just laugh and keep my own stories to myself. otherwise my policy is 'check your drama at the door'. cause i only have room for my own semi-dramas (like my trainer not showing up this morning...grr...but still, not even real drama just irritation), and even the things that try to manifest as realish drama are getting a laugh from me. whatever. i just don't have the time, patience or brain capacity to be bothered.

all my extra energy (extra?!? lol) is going toward figuring out what i'm going to do for the scarf swap. i have some fun ideas, though nothing concrete and i desperately want to go yarn shopping. But despite spending all my waking hours at work, i'm magically broke as fuck. i dunno where the money is going, but i hope it's having a good time without me.

FSS info

Last week I joined the Funky Scarf Swap in an attempt to broaden my knitting horizons and try something I might not ordinarily spring for. Like a wild yarn or designing an interesting pattern. I have some fun ideas, so we'll see what comes of it all. In the meantime, here are my answers to the questionnaire:

Are you allergic to any fibers?

Probably wool, but I wear it anyway. Mohair for sure. The fuzz gets in my eyes, and that takes all the fun out of it.

Do you prefer any fibers over others?

Not really, though I'll always go with soft over scratchy. And I'll NEVER say no to cashmere. I don't really do acrylic or furry things.

Thinking back to Scout’s post about what funky means to you, post an image of something that you think is funky!

I like Gwen Stefani's style. Girl can get away with just about anything, and makes it look good even when pregnant. It's all about attitude and putting the right things together, then throwing in something unexpected.

Would you prefer funky yarn or a funky pattern?

Either, or both! I'm not picky, and I'm going to love and drool over whatever comes my way.

What are your favorite colors?

Blues, teals, pinks and purples. Oh, and red! Hmm, I like earth tones too, so add browns, deep greens, grays...ok, ok there's not much I *don't* like!

What is your favorite piece of art?

I love art that makes me feel calm, usually landscape paintings with blues, greens and yellows. I also like art that makes me think and feel (Dali, Picasso, Pollack).

What colors would you never have up close to your pretty face?

Yellow and orange. I can get away with yellow as long as it's not the *only* color involved.

Would you prefer an actual scarf or a cowl?

A scarf. But I won't cry if I get a cowl. I just don't like the word. Don't much care for the word 'ointment' either, but that's not really relevant.

When you wear a scarf do you prefer a wider/shorter scarf or a thin/long scarf?

Medium to longer lengths. I like them to wrap around my neck at least once, usually twice.

What is the climate like where you live?

Hot in the summer, 20s and 30s in the winter. I plan to wear lots of scarves this winter, because I'm very cold natured, and also because I like them.

Would you prefer a functional scarf (to keep you warm) or one just to funk-up your wardrobe?

Oh please funk me! I wear relatively conservative clothes at work (think business casual) and the usual jeans/tshirt when going out (fuck party clothes and heels, blech). But I'm very liberal minded even if I don't usually dress the part like many do where I live. I'm a 'comfort above all things' kinda girl and could probably use some spicing up!

What else would you like your partner to know about you?

I love love love to be surprised. And I'll love anything you make. I'd also really dig your own original work way more than a pattern, but obviously, I leave the choice to you. I'm easy to please, so don't stress over it, just have fun!

And now, back to sleep with me. I am le tired.

just realized it's thursday

Holy gods, where did this week go? And praise be to me that it's almost over. I've been told today that my normal (ha. normal.) life may resume in 2 to 3 weeks. Woot.

I forgot my pic of the sweater the other day, so I give you now the beginnings of le raglan sweater pour moi. And coming soon to a stitch holder near me...sleeves! I can hardly wait! I really really really love this teal color. I shall be ever so sexah. And a little slouchy. That's how I do.



(Random books on table are: cookbook by Giada from Food Network (yum), An Inconvenient Truth, and some guitar book. About 5 knitting books live on the other side of the table. Guess where I spend a lot of time when not working my ass off?)

Yesterday was "Bring My Dogs To Work Day" cause the maintenance guy was doing some work in my apartment. And also cause I can. Taylor (aka Pooh...all dogs are poohs to me, but he gets the capital P), graciously modeled my completed scarf.



Isn't he so very GQ?

Ellie hid behind my chair and refused to acknowledge anyone, including me most of the time.



Also notice the ever-present bottle of DDP. It's my crack ya'll.

After work, I joined Karen, Jenna, and Brooke at Hot Corner and we taught Brooke how to knit. I should have taken a camera cause we were cute as hell. We put on our redneck southern accents (not to be confused with our come-hither southern drawls), and stared down anyone who dared look at us sideways, while also fugging every poor soul who walked in the door. I guess that makes us catty white trash poseurs. Whatev. We laughed a lot, which is all that matters.

When I got home, I got out of the car and promptly walked into the biggest spider web in the history of the world and thereby lost my shit in the parking lot. If anyone had seen the altercation, they'd have had me arrested for insane behavior and potentially indecent exposure. Crazy girl screaming, running in circles, and maybe getting a little naked. Normal bugs I can handle. Spiders not so much. I immediately went in and took a shower, as the thought of sleeping with spider spit all over me was too much to bear. And also the notion that maybe the spider is in my hair.

I'm still a little freaked. Never did find the damn spider.

quickish update

i dont really do quick (unless you count the occasional quicky). but i do lists well, so we'll go with that.

1. work blows. and sucks. it has the inate ability to do both at once. but i'm *home* so i'm not really complaining, i swear. just tired of working 7 days a week and being completely stressed out about the amount of work to be done, that even in our haste we may have a difficult time accomplishing. what day is it again?

2. knitting is good. so called scarf is finished but i don't feel like having anyone take a pic of me modeling the damned thing (it's hot, the scarf is wool, my give-a-shit factor is nil), so i may throw it at unwitting victims and snap quickly so as to get a shot of it. i've cast on for a top-down raglan sweater using this site (and not jemima, though i can't say why other than i just don't love it like i used to) cause i'm ready to knit something new and make my brain do more creative tasks than data entry and conflict management. also, no one gets knitted gifts for christmas this year. i'm enjoying making stuff for me a bit too much to be diverted.

3. i heart the dog whisperer. he is my new hero and i think i might love him. i wish he'd come to my house and help me deal with my shy little beagle. she's adorable and sweet, but she's afraid of everything. it makes me sad. cesar, come.

4. my dryer died. i have to get a new one. and oooooh the pretty options. can't spend a grand on a stupid dryer though.

5. i wish i had time to work out. i miss cycling and i'm mushy. bleh. still don't miss gaming though. but my kick ass monitor misses me and is getting dusty. maybe i'll pick up a nancy drew murder mystery game for old times sake. or hello kitty. ooooh kitty.

have a great week! or weekend! i really don't have a clue what day it is and i'm afraid to ask. so happy whatever.

such a dork

I visit this site every single day. When I have a break from working like mad. Or at least attempting to work while fielding stupid questions and neverending phone calls. It keeps me smart. Or at least intrigued.

I also frequently read this blog, which may be the exact polar opposite. He makes me laugh so hard that diet cokes comes out my nose. My dearest friend Pete is the only other human to accomplish this. Astounding, eh?

so, anyways...

I promised there would be knitting, and there is.

I give you exhibit A:



I found this chart for argyle (aarrrrgyle!) socks, and I had to see if I could figure out intarsia enough to make a pair for myself (why yes, I can as a matter of fact). And any other person in my life who laughed out loud upon viewing that chart. Laughing in a "haha! I must have those!" sort of way, not a "haha, but ok that's extraordinarily lame" way. It's ridiculously oversized because I grabbed some cotton Peaches n Cream from my MDK dishcloth stash and tried out the chart and the technique on a grander scale. I did not have the suggested red and gray accent colors, so I went with the pink and green from said stash for a bit of a punk pirate effect. My jolly roger digs the Misfits. Rawr. I mean arrrr. (Blame Johnny Depp, he really is forcing my hand here.)

Exhibit B is my So Called Scarf, with the pretty plum yarn and is almost completed. The wool is kind of scratchy, so I find myself knitting a few rows and then switching to something else. That or I'm tired of it already. Or lazy. Those excuses are not mutually exclusive of course.

Exhibit C is...well...hmm. I'm working on Sizzle, sort of. I cast on the first time, worked a few rows and then measured it. Not wide enough. No matter how many times I swatched and thought I got gauge, I really didn't. Also, my body is shaped differently than the pattern's author (shorter torso, wider hips), and I'd rather knit it in the round anyway. So I measured myself where I want the bottom to hit, reswatched for gauge, did the math (bleh), and cast on the right amount of stitches. I've knit a few rows since then. I think I have Post Math Stress Syndrome or something. I just can't bear to pick it up again. I know it's only a little addition and a touch of multiplication, and I *have* a calculator for god's sake, but something about it stresses me out. Pics eventually, should I somehow find time to knit more, and stop working 6 days a week (not likely anytime soon).

On a completely unrelated topic: I've run into the exhubby TWICE now. Clearly he doesn't understand the whole "this is my side of town, and that's your side" philsophy. Or we still have a few random things in common. Like driving. And eating.

attack of verbosity

Here I sit. Again. Thinking about posting, cause wow there's a LOT of crap in my head that really wants to come out, but as ever, I've censored it. Some of it is lame, stupid, ridiculous, boring, or really only relevant to me and my inner workings, and seriously that stuff doesn't need to be batted around with anyone but my hubby or my extremely tolerant therapist. Yes I have one. I don't call her as often as I should, but she practically works miracles, so I don't *have* to call very often. Anymore. And I haven't actually been to see her in years. Which is a blessing because she's mega expensive. (I'd put your money on some psychological bantering anyway, cause this here blahg is free.)

Anyway, desperately fighting the urge to edit myself, and as the well-trained journalism major and all-around 'way too fucking nice for my own good' type of person, it comes with a great deal of difficulty and a hell of a lot of "no, no, no, don't delete that. damn it, type it again" brain activity. And I'm 'uncensoring' because I realize that lately I haven't had much to say. The posts have been long, but I haven't really *said* anything. I'm way too 'in my head' and I should really just say whatever I want and not give a damn what anyone else thinks about me. Cause it doesn't really matter, and I don't have the time or energy to care.

Also, if you came in search of knitting activity, there is some, but we're not going to be visiting it today. Click a link to the right if pretty stitches call your name. Otherwise, carry on. Or don't. Your choice here doesn't affect me in any way, and therefore doesn't matter to me. And this may or may not get very bizarre and stream-of-conciousness like (more than usual). If you can't keep up, pay better attention.

I've been through and put myself through a lot of shit in the last year. Depression. Anxiety attacks. Insomnia. Gaming addiction. Knitting therapy. Real therapy. Lies. Bullshit. False friends. The list goes on, but those are the high (well, low) points. And yes, a real full fledged gaming addiction. I know, how lame of me. When I got sick of it (and the liars and their bullshit along with it...you know who you are), I found a way to break myself and I did. I don't even think about it anymore, which is a very nice change. And that was a huge step for me. I used to game every single day for hours, as long as I could stand it, until I could barely keep my eyes open. Not really the way I want to remember my life. So much more important things to accomplish. Like figuring out argyle socks. And maybe someday having kids and trying to not be a complete fuck up as a parent.

I used to have a very long list of the shit I would tolerate for the sake of 'understanding' someone or really just in an effort to see/believe the best in people and help them see it in themselves. Now that list is very very very very short. Did I mention very short? Very. I've decided that it's not my job anymore, a self-appointed task mind you, to try to help other people be better versions of themselves. I can't make that happen. Especially when they don't want it. I can only do that for myself. But I do point out to folks when they're being rude disrespectful assholes. A simple"you're being an asshole" works well in certain cases. But sometimes shutting them out and walking away is the best choice. It has a way of saying "you sorry piece of shit" that words just don't express clearly enough. Even a solid "fuck you" is often just met with "surely you're joking", especially when you're normally a very nice and tolerant person, and then you have to go through the long explanation of just how *not* joking you are, and really, my breath, thoughts, and manual dexterity are clearly more valuable.

I'm the type of person who is constantly (ad nauseum even) evaluating and assessing the person I am and want to be, and many times it's a rocky road to tread, leading to indecision and frustration and often chocolate. Sometimes it takes me a while to see the err of my ways, even with the verbal beatings about the head from my friends, but eventually I see where I'm making stupid mistakes and correct them (reference the gaming and the bullshit here). I'm usually a lot quicker than I can even comprehend. Cause I'm smart and junk. Except when I'm not.

And part of me doesn't want other people to know what goes on in my head. My brain spins so fast that I can't even express, much less type, all the other things I've been pondering in the last 30 minutes. But this is *my* blog and I can say whatever I want (it's my party too, so neener). Part of the last few weeks has been spent in self protection mode, only talking to my closest friends, family, and any other people I'm forced to interact with through my job or the places I frequent. It has served me well and helped me heal and develop thicker skin and a more logical attitude, but I can't stay there forever. If I get too comfortable, I might never want to come out again.

So I carry on. I consider all the things I want to do. I make a plan and go accomplish those things. I live and breathe and function as a (hopefully) better person. I keep learning from my mistakes, making adjustments and new decisions, then rebounding from them. I deal with the issues that make me want to hide in dark places or just leave this world entirely. (Don't call me all freaked out, ya'll know I'm way too fucking feisty to be a statistic.)

And now, maybe I'll also open up. Really open up. Cause I have a lot to say that never gets said. And I have a place to put all those things. And I'm tough enough to deal with anyone who gives me shit about it. (That includes you, Ethridge.)

Thus concludes this session of verbal diarrhoea. Oh, my cell number has changed. Should my services be required, send your mail to the addy on my profile.

You may go now.

zen

It's nice to be blogging again. Even having the thought of 'hmm, that would be fun to share' is refreshing.

During my little break I did a lot of things. For starters, I mostly got my food intake back on track. One of the major things we missed about Athens is the variety of food available, and during those first few weeks we made sure to hit every taco/thai/cuban/indian/ice cream joint we had been jonesing for. Now I'm not eating out nearly as much, and I'm making better choices when I do splurge.

This is my 'back to normal' breakfast. Y.U.M. Fat free cottage cheese, organic strawberries, raspberries and blueberries, and some low fat granola. Mmmmmm. Also makes a good snack. Or dessert. I could eat this multiple times daily.



(On a side note, I'm kinda weird in that I don't really care for matching dishes, so this is the only bowl that i have in this pattern. It makes me very happy in a deep down tingly sort of way. Most of my dishes are asian themed and all but this one have blue in them somewhere. I'm a nut, and I'm ok with that.)

I've been knitting also, obviously. I finished Shedir #2 yesterday. I love this hat so much. And the yarn, Elsbeth Lavold's Silky Wool, is a total joy to work with. In fact, I have a skein of it in black, so I may cast on another one and give this one as a gift. I'll have to think about who it might fit though. I have a tiny head, and very fine hair. On someone else it may look like a beanie. Eww.



As a house warming gift, my mom gave me a small rosemary bush and a pot of African violets. I guess she figured I'd find a way to make them grow. She probably didn't count on the cats eating them first. The second day I had the plants, I took them outside because for my kitties, violets are a delicacy and rosemary is very close to catnip.

Simply having something to grow and a porch to put pretty green things on made me run out to find seeds and cutie little pots. I got two kinds of basil (sweet on the left, and lemon on the right) and I'm going to have to divide and replant both of those very soon. I had no idea how fast they would grow, and from what I've seen at the grocery store, they get MUCH bigger.



I also got cilantro and repotted the rosemary. I'm thinking these will need bigger pots too eventually.



The cats devoured the first set of violets while I wasn't looking, but luckily they seem to like the outdoors (maybe not the hundred degree heat so much) and have found new life. I have about four little stalks of buds like this one.



So precious and promising (and purple! yay purple!). Also, I can make things grow! And sort of come back from the dead! I'm totally a genius.

Last but most certainly not least, I've been taking a few steps toward a new career (to be revealed later), and I'm considering applying to grad school. I have much to read about, learn, and muddle over. I love researching and immersing myself in something I really care about, and it's going to be hard, yet fun.

Just how I like it.

god save the queen

I've officially retained my title as the Queen of ADR (that's additional dialogue recording, for you non film geeks), as given by E, and proven once again this Saturday as we wrapped up some voice work in his basement for a few scenes from wowgirl where audio magically disappeared, got distorted or just plain sucked. (More on the movie as I have some time this week to write. Ha. Whenever that is.)

I totally rock at being able to recreate cadence, intonation and speed of my lines from when they were filmed, and recording them back to match my lip movement on screen so they sound crystal clear and sometimes better enunciated. I usually get it in one take. (Hence my royalty status.) Which leaves lots of time for karaoke, goofing off and the requisite "aaaaaannnnndddd ttttthhhhhheeeeeeennnnnn?". I also got to do a little acting direction with Nate, i.e. "say it like... less depressy and more reflectivish". Yup, I are a good acting coach.

E said, as we were doing some of the final scenes, that he didn't really like how my character got treated at the end. Short changed even. Not exactly as dynamic as she should have been written. Though we can't exactly go reshoot any of it, maybe we altered the perception of her with different vocalizations. Which is very exciting to me. She was a lot of fun to play, but I had similar feelings while we were shooting.

Doing the ADR work really makes me miss acting. It's such a great outlet for me, and requires so much of my heart, yet makes me feel so alive and energized. Heartbreaking, soul destroying emotional vomiting. And I usually giggle through the tears when I'm done. Or say something like "good god that hurt. wanna do it again?".

Our local theater has already cast the next play, with Karen as the evil Antonia in a musical version of The Tempest. So maybe I'll audition for whatever is next.

And I'm out of energy. Spinning** is my abusive lover, and she has taught me the meaning of pain this week. She's also reminded me of my competitive side, and with instructors who make each class like a real road race, I'm so totally addicted. I must sleep so I can face her again at 5 a.m.


that. is. all.



** this kind of spinning, not this kind.

it's the end of the world as we know it

...and i feel awesome.

shiny happy. orange crushy. hairshirt-esque.

i am the everything.

and i’ve probably been listening to too much rem.

and afi (miss murder is my new fav song), evanescence (amy lee knows just how to crush my soul, and i let her willingly), dixie chicks (i’m not ready to make nice either!), and system of a down (totally in love, again). semi-schizophrenic musical choices, and that’s how I like it.

sadly my office is hung up on some radio station that shall not be named. if i have to hear ‘stairway’ or ‘layla’ one more time (really, three times a day is more than enough), i might choke the next person who walks past me singing either song in absolute mockery of my suffering. that specific coworker (who also shall not be named, but let’s call him "j" just for fun) might be significantly taller and denser than myself, but i think if properly motivated i could manage a good few seconds of airway blockage via my hands around his neck before he casts me off like the wild little animal i will have become under such duress. ahem.

otherwise, things are steady as she goes, lovely, and perfect. i’ve spent the last few weeks working out, hanging out, reading, knitting, and making a few personal decisions and changes. i’ve lost interest in some things and gained newfound love for others. i forced myself to step away from some activities that were sucking the life from me, and frankly, i like the new direction i’ve chosen. i may have a friend or two who disagrees with the changes, but it’s hardly their choice to make, and if they can’t support my efforts to do what’s right for me, they can’t really call themselves my friend. miserable hating-my-life me would have been devastated and willing to do anything to keep said friendship. more normal, happier and balanced me says ‘how sad for you guys...see ya around’.

what a difference a change of perspective makes.

oh. knitting stuff. yeah.

i finished the honeymoon cami. better pictures soon and notes on the changes i made. i ventured into uncharted territory and did a rework on the back to make it a halter instead of a tank. it required math and logic (dear gods) but worked quite nicely.



also working on the so-called scarf when life gets dullish.




and the shedir hat. i'm so slow on this one, but i really have to be in the right mental place for these rounds of cables. (irritated is not one of those places. i'm just sayin.)




and swatching bits of my stash like a mad person for jemima and sizzle.

jemima is getting the debbie bliss cotton angora for certain (yum). teal for the main color, and light blue for the accent parts and button bands.




the verdict on yarn for sizzle is still out. i have a lot of gorgeous yarns that might work, so plenty of excellent potential. there's just the tiny issue of gauge. as ever. i've swatched some knitpicks shine, elann's lara (discontinued i think, but i'm definitely not getting gauge so it's irrelevant), and southwest trading company's Bamboo.




i want the sizzle top to be kind of shiny so i *really* want to use the bamboo, which still looks gorgeous after swatching and washing. well then...i guess i've decided haven't i? despite my misgivings and ignoring all instinct about this yarn (it's slightly scratchy and my stitches look odd to me for some reason), i'm casting on. and there's nothing you can do to stop me. so there.

god i'm stubborn.

in retrospect...

It’s nice to have a job that is fun, and I’m actually in charge of people and stuff, and not just a chick with a title and no power whatsoever. It’s relaxing to not be micromanaged to the point of total inefficiency. It’s liberating to be given responsibility and then trusted to follow through with it at your own pace, in your own way.

My previous employer, while a great man, was an extreme micromanager and a ‘my way or the highway’ kind of guy. Thus is the influence of the military, I suppose. To say I don’t thrive in that sort of atmosphere would be an understatement. If you weren’t able to predict and anticipate what he needed at any given moment, well, you wouldn’t last very long. Luckily I’m a mind reader. Ok that’s a lie. But I am funny and engaging, and I guess that’s what actually paid my bills, cause I screwed up a lot.

Most of that lead to a certain amount of fear and uncertainty for me, and coupled with the genuine distaste for the town we were in and the attitudes embraced by many of the folks there, you could conclude that I was pretty unhappy. That pronounced and very present sense of instability really took its toll on the way I thought, felt and acted. I felt fear, helplessness, anger, frustration, desperation, and often all those things at once. I constantly looked outside myself for what I thought I needed. Turns out I didn’t need anything I sought after. I just needed to be reminded of who I am.

And being back here reminds me thoroughly, forcefully, plentifully, and beautifully. It’s taken a few weeks, but I realized today that I’m not just back at home. I am back. Me. That hopelessness and desperation made me say and think (and probably do) crazy things. I grasped hold of just about anything I felt like I could have some control over (knitting, working out, gaming, etc), only to watch whatever I thought I had hold on crumble time after time (definition of insanity much?). Which only compounded my need to have something, someone that made me feel safe.

You’d think that my husband would have been the logical choice, but he was going through the same thing and we could hardly comfort ourselves, much less each other. A lesser marriage could have gotten very, very ugly. Thankfully, we’re both smart and we don’t do stupid things to hurt each other when we’re down (or ever actually). And we tell each other literally everything, and god, good communication is really the key to what makes us work so well. I’m really so lucky to have found such an incredible guy.

Thanks so much to all my friends who tried to help while I was in crazy/unhappy/paranoid/thinking-in-circles mode. I know I probably said some stupid shit. Thanks for loving me anyway. And for constantly trying to remind me of who I am (I mean Karen, Pete, and Joey specifically here…I love you guys).

dazed and confused

Dazed from being sick (yes again) and the intake of drugs that are *supposed* to make me feel somewhat normal, only to actually make me feel like a crazy person. Well, moreso than usual. I can do crazy just fine all by my self, thank you very much DayQuil. Confused because feeling completely out of it will do that to a girl. There was a lot of "where are we going again?" and "ok, now WHY are we doing this?". Ya'll know.

Thankfully I have a sweet hubby who kicks ass and makes a killer soup and takes me to the ER when I need a doctor on a Saturday afternoon. He'll be 30.5 on Friday, so Karen and I are throwing him a party. Shhh, it's a surprise. Did I mention that I absolutely and completely suck at surprises? Really. I do. It's sad.

The lovely Karen also seems to think I'm a super hero of sorts. Let's try and keep my true identity a little better hidden shall we, love? Damn. There I go, sucking at surprises again. Ah well.

Be forewarned that I come armed with turkey sandwiches and yarn.

Fear me.

ugh

i may have just perished.

i can be found under the squat rack at my trainer's feet, somewhere inside a quivering pool of goo.

please come get me.

Beaucoup d'insanity

Ok, so we're *mostly* settled.

By mostly I mean I can find some of my bras, a few utensils and there is some food in the fridge which may or may not be consumed. There are still boxes everywhere. Most of which contain stuff to remain boxed until we move again and actually have space to unpack some things. Maybe this weekend I'll work on reboxing and moving junk. So I tell myself.

In the interim, I'm working on knitting a few items, because what better way to procrastinate right? And I have start-itis and there are so many things I want to work on, so I started them all. Ha knitting goddesses, take that.

First are a few washcloths from Mason Dixon Knitting. These are shamefully addictive, and I have almost a full metric ton of Sugar & Cream cotton to make a LOT more.


Honeymoon Cami, pre-bust increases and shaping. Pray to your local diety that it fits, or there will be cursing and hexing and laying upon of poxes. Yes you heard me. Poxes!


Another Shedir hat, this one for myself. I've tried in all my most beguiling of ways to get pictures of the gorgeous brown Shedir I made for Stacy in NYC, but she is a bit too computer illiterate to get them off her camera. I was a bit too stunned by the technology of my own camera to figure out how to get a good shot.


Baby Kimono (also from Mason Dixon Knitting). Not that I have anyone to give it to yet, but I'm sure someone will come along.


(I might be in a cream/white groove lately, no?)

And yummy plum colored yarn for another So Called Scarf, yet another gem I made as a gift and didn't want to give away. Tristan grows tired of all the knitting pictures and demands more kittie love.


Oh yeah! This new object of my affection is called Ellie. She's a four year old Beagle we rescued on Sunday. She likes to snuggle and hug, and generally be next to us. Once the cats get used to her, some semblance of sanity will be restored. Maybe. She and Tristan are the same size, so the actual degree of sanity is still up for debate.

I heart Athens

Moving this time around was as pleasant as it could possibly be. It's almost as if Athens is saying "welcome home bitches, i knew you'd be back, also here is some perfect weather so get cozy and junk, and hit the pool cause jeez you need a tan".

I'm ready to start the house hunt though because this apartment is tiny and not well laid out for people other than college kids who argue over stupid shit like who's going to pay their third of the cable bill and omg move your laundry and holy damn did your nasty ass boyfriend really eat my Fruity Pebbles?! Not that I have anything against college kids in general, only a few specific ones. Who happen to live upstairs. And the walls are thin.

Regardless, I'm so glad to be back. I've hit almost all of my favorite lunch spots and the requisite coffee joints.

I've done a little knitting, a little settling in, and a lot of shopping. Pictures of stuff later, when I find my camera.

I am tired.

just in time

Today is the first day of hurricane season. And we are moving in two days. Far far away from the coast.

Surely there is no way a hurricane can form and slam into south Georgia in the last days of my existence here. I think. However, I'm pretty sure I know my luck on these things, so I'm warding with the apartment with little voodoo candles and doing the "stay the fuck away from me you mean ugly hurricane" dance anyway. (Granted, Brunswick hasn't had a major hurricane since 1893, but like UGA football fans across the state utter every freaking August, "this could be the year!". Geeks. Ahem.)

Dubious Wonder knows how to have a good time during the season, and for that we lift a glass of Hurricane Punch to her.

I am looking forward to watching something *other* than the Weather Channel over the summer. Like Supergroup. Thanks for your show review Miss K. I love it, but not to the point of obsession. Yet. And wtf is up with Sebastian? I had a *major* rockstar crush on him for the longest time, now all I can think is....ewwww. But Scott Ian and Jason Bonham can come home to me any time. Evan Seinfeld...gross. Ted Nugent...take away the guitar hero status and you have my dad. Double gross with a sprinkling of ewwww on top.

I've been amused today by:

1. my recent conversation with Etheridge where we spoke using Elvis song titles:

E: "You Can't Say No In Acapulco"
me: but i can "In The Ghetto"
E: "I wonder, I wonder, I wonder"
me: well, "(there's) No Room to Rhumba in a Sports Car"
E: "I Really Don't Want To Know"
me: I prefer "Paradise, Hawaiian Style"

We went on for quite a while. Clearly we do not have enough to do at our respective jobs.

2. White Zombie's "More Human Than Human". One of my all-time favorite songs.

3. Secret Wars Reinactment. Consider yourself geeked.

Not the alpha dog

Since Nate started his job this week, I've been fending for myself for a few days, and I'll be alone all next week too, drowning in a sea of boxes. For those of you who have my number, feel free to prank call me for laughs. I am bored and must be entertained.

While I would normally relish the alone time, I'm shocked at how quiet the apartment can be even with me and 5 animals in it. I've had lots of time to look around, do some thinking, knit some little things, watch tv, and do the occasional bit of packing. I average about two boxes before I say to myself, "whew! there, I packed today" and call it quits.

Some things I've discovered about myself are a little shocking too. Like my complete inability to feed myself. Since I have such an awesome cook around all the time, I usually get a nice dinner made for me. When left to my own devices I rely on frozen waffles, atomic fireballs, and beer. When did this happen to me? I used to call myself independent! I needed no man to feed me!
Now I can't even bother to open a lousy can of soup? What the hell is going on? Either extreme laziness or a ridiculous level of "spoiled absolutely rotten".

And also, my dog is no longer my own. He was a birthday gift from my ex-husband before we got married (never a good idea, by the way. dogs as gifts. just don't.) and I have always been the alpha dog because I trained him and took care of him, and well, because I was cool like that.

But somehow, the power has shifted. Nate is now the alpha dog. And in his absence, I can't even get the damn dog to sit so I can put his leash on him. "Hello! McFly! I am the mom here, I am the alpha dog, and you will do what I say!" And what do I get in response? A woof and a spin and a lot of tail wagging. My appreciation for his cute puppy dog attitude is waning. Now I'm just the one he runs to when the vacuum cleaner comes out. Or it's thundering outside. Or when Nate says the dread "B" word (bath!). Stupid dog.

I have plans for him though. Next week will be doggie boot camp, led by yours truly. No more messing around. No more treats. Just good old fashioned retraining. And a lot of "I am the boss of you, now go lay down and junk".

Also, for those of you interested, it was 100 degrees today with 70% humidity. I may never go outside again.

Packing sucks

I love how moving has a way of forcing you to go through your junk, sorting the good from the bad and throwing stuff away, while treasuring and embracing things you'd forgotten since the last time you shoved it semi-ceremoniously into a box.

I'm probably a pack rat to a certain degree, as in I still have all my yearbooks and silly awards from high school, but I also love minimalism and a distinct lack of clutter in my life. The hub's love of technology, however, lends itself to certain amount of 'stuff', but we're working through all that. Sort of.

Items disposed of (donated or trashed):

7 - very large bags of clothing, his and mine, but mostly mine (and I haven't gone through my sweaters yet)

3 - boxes of junk still packed from when we moved here 2 years ago (and probably several more to come)

2 - boxes of VCR tapes (blasphemy!)

2 - vacuum cleaners (we bought a Dyson, don't get me started on how much it ROCKS)

18 - photos of four different exboyfriends (like I'd forget what the jerks looked like, I damn sure don't need photos as reminders)

a gazillion - used pens, old notebooks, random scribbled on papers

6 - boxes of fabric I collected for god knows what reason (found a group of ladies who quilt for charity, yay!)



My dilemma is this: what do I do with things like wedding and honeymoon pictures from my first marriage?

When we moved here, I just packed them up and figured I'd deal with them later. Well, I still haven't dealt with them. I can't just throw them out like that part of my life didn't happen. But they're not relevant anymore either. I tried to pawn them off on him when we split but he wasn't having it. Should I just keep some of the ones that are important to me? What if they're all important to me in some way? And what about the pictures of Hawaii? Those are entirely too beautiful to meet the trash compactor.

This one of me and my dad is one of my all-time favorite photos, even if it is from my first wedding.

It goes in the 'keep' pile.


Thoughts on the rest? Start a bonfire? Let them rest in peace (or pieces)?

Interlude

For my musically inclined friends, Jack White of the White Stripes has a "side project" with some of his buddies called The Raconteurs, and they are taking up permanent residence in my CD changer. Very retro indy type rock. Me likie.

But Jack White could scream nursery rhymes and wallow in the mud dressed like a psycho clown from outer space (ha) or Dani Filth, who might just *maybe* have some issues (but i LOVE Nymphetamine...watch the volume dahlings), and I would still be all full of smit for him.

Running, and a Tunic

I am so in love with my new purchases, I can barely stand to take them off. I'd sleep in them if they didn't get sweaty and gross.

I got this from Athleta, in charcoal, yum, and I feel there are many more running skort thingies like it to come. I'm also lusting over this for the summer. Bring on the cute tank tops and flops. And someone make me a margarita.

I also snagged this (sooooo in love. and it has a super secret pocket inside for my spygirl needs.), this and this (omg a pocket for my inhaler! and it's orange! not normally a color i'd chose, but i have so. much. blue. and also pink.) from Title Nine. My new favorite place to shop, other than Amazon.

Karen will be dragging me to run very often as soon we return to Mecca, er, I mean Athens. I've missed running the campus track, the campus hills (my lungs don't miss those), and through downtown. Five Points is an awesome place to pound the sidewalk, but I prefer to avoid the sorority girls whenever possible. Yes, that is semi-hypocritical since I used to be one, but that just means I know what goes through their heads, and I rarely choose to subject myself to it.

***************************************

Prairie Tunic is finished.



But why is it not on my body, you ask? I love it, really I do. But the pattern is flawed. If I had made the size smaller, I would probably be swooning over it and refuse to take it off. However, I made the correct size for me, and since the pattern has *NO* shaping for the waist or bust, I look like a big slouchy box. Some surgery is forthcoming. I will probably sew new side seams and create shaping then cut (gasp!) the original seams, eliminating about 2 extra inches on both sides.

If I had been smart, I would have added shaping myself while knitting this up, because I could read the pattern and see clearly that there was no shaping. But I need some practice with making adjustments to patterns, and frankly, I wasn't ready to start screwing it up, because the top was coming along so well. Why take a swing at my knitting karma?

Yes my gauge was right (shush Denise), and I blocked to the stated proportions in the pattern. This particular pattern just needs some love and shaping. It looks just fine with some jeans and cute flops, but if I wanted to dress it up (and I do, because damn it's cute) then it needs shaping.

Oh, there's also a pattern correction for the front triangle shaping here on IK's site. For the record, I used the recommended yarn, Jaeger Sienna in Blush, and US3 Addi Turbos (knit back and forth, obviously).

I've already cast on for the Honeymoon Cami as my second cute top for the summer. Cami and I have a history, you know. I chose this project as my first attempt at knitting a garment, and to say that I wasn't fully aware of the importance of gauge at the time is a grave understatement. Let's say tactfully, that the sucker was way too big. Much to my dismay. But, I'm not one to let a little knitting pattern kick my ass, so I'm knitting it again. This time as a much wiser knitter. I hope.

Small Town Georgia (really really small)

Welcome to Jacksonville, Georgia. Population 118. Most of it being my family, in some incarnation or other.

Don't ask. It's scandalous.

This town is the site of our annual Family Reunion, which always occurs the Saturday before Mother's Day. No invite necessary or sent, just show up and bring food, sweet tea and pie. Ya'll know.

This is the one and only red light. Also the center of "town". Did you blink? Oops you missed it. There's a church, a building that used to be the general store, an old gas station, and an old auto shop. Only the church is still in use. I have no idea where these people get their groceries.


This is where the magic happens though. My great-grandmother's house, built in 1936 by my great-grandfather. Apparently it has "architectural significance" because of the double front doors, so some company is tearing down the houses around it (and salvaging this house) to build a bypass. Like bypassing Jacksonville is of vital importance. Seriously, just blink. There, you bypassed.


It's so old school, it even has a well. Or what used to be a well, anyway. We were always warned as little kids to steer clear of the well, lest you fall in and die. I still don't go near it, just in case.


And also a smokehouse. There used to be an outhouse, but they tore that down when plumbing arrived to the big city.


The interior is really cool too. It's never been remodeled except to add a bathroom, so everything else is original. Like these "locks".


And these screened cabinets.


And this antique Singer sewing machine, though, not part of the 'architecture'. Still, a collector's dream.


My great aunt Hazel said "hey, ya'll". She really did.



My grandmother *hates* having her picture taken. She wanted to make sure you guys knew that. If you ever wondered where my attitude, semi-psychotic energy, and insane need to call everyone on their shit comes from, consider yourself introduced to Grandma.


I took far more pictures of town and the house than I did family. But we had a great time. Lots of little ones running around. I'm pretty sure I'm the only female from my generation without kids. And that's ok. My great aunt Gertrude (she's 82) asked me if I had kids yet, and I of course replied "um...no". She said, "good, they're a pain in the ass".

I love her.

How Soon is Now?

One of my most favorite scenes from Spaceballs:

Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at?! When does this happen in the movie?!
Col. Sandurz: Now! You're looking at "now," sir. Everything that happens now is happening "now."
Dark Helmet: What happened to "then?"
Col. Sandurz: We passed it.
Dark Helmet: When?
Col. Sandurz: Just now. We're at now "now."
Dark Helmet: Go back to "then."
Col. Sandurz: When?
Dark Helmet: Now.
Col. Sandurz: Now?!
Dark Helmet: Now!
Col. Sandurz: I can't.
Dark Helmet: Why?
Col. Sandurz: We missed it.
Dark Helmet: When?
Col. Sandurz: Just now.
Dark Helmet: When will "then" be "now?"
Col. Sandurz: Soon.

And how soon is now?

Um...soonish. Nate starts his job in two weeks, I start mine in four. With us being five hours apart for those last two weeks, moving should be an entertaining venture. We have my family reunion on Saturday (bring on the fried chicken and pie, ya'll), leaving only Sunday to pack for this weekend. And I sadly had to say "I wish I could, but now I can't" to the 48 Hour Film Project for next weekend. I need to be organizing, packing, and throwing out junk instead of acting. I know, I know, what a lame excuse.

Good news is that our apartment will be ready for Nate to crash in when he needs it. And the apartment could be furnished if we want, so we may just throw most of our stuff in a storage unit until we buy a house (which will now be very soon. well, within 6 months or so). So things are a go, though I can't give a definitive date for moving. Let's say, between now and then, mkay?

As long as the hell that ensued as we tried to leave Athens two years ago does not rear its vicious head, I will take it all in stride and with very big smiles. If, however, I am stuck on the side of the road, one mile outside of town, with a full U-Haul (the second truck to break down on us. never again U-Haul. never) and my step-dad on the hottest day of the year for TWELVE hours as we wait for the repair guy to get there, and the fix the damned thing...well, let's just say ya'll will hear about it. Very loudly. That was the longest, most awful day of my life. I hope to never repeat it.

Mole Update: Benign. All is well minus the rectangular gaping wound that replaces the cute mole.

Hair Update: My adventures into the dark world that is Loreal has proven very interesting. I search my scalp, and find grays reappearing, but not even a hint of color. Black is my natural hair color. Blue black to be exact. I am shocked. And perplexed. Have I really been coloring my hair for so long that I no longer know what my true hair color is until NOW?!? Think I'll call my mom and ask this seemingly ridiculous question.

Event Horizon

And just like that, my world changes.

This past week has been a whirlwind of phone calls, stress, coughing, and knitting.

Nate had two phone interviews, both with the same company. The job is perfect for him and he's very excited about the possibility of getting it. He's amazing at what he does and they'd be lucky to have him. And stupid not to hire him. Very, very stupid.

My boss and friend from my previous job called and asked me if I'd be interested in resuming my position in Athens. I called her back the next day and accepted. (Insert big fucking WOOT right here. Ahem. YAY!) We. Are. Moving.

The lovely Stacy called on Thursday (in tears, oy) to say she had taken two pregnancy tests. Both are positive. She then demanded that I get pregnant immediately so she doesn't have to do it alone. Um...I can think of a few reasons to have kids (not the least of which is to have someone to brainwash into helping me take over the world, but I digress), but that one is NOT on the list. Though we did agree to be obnoxious moms together, so maybe I'll catch her next time. But being the Supergirl of Doom means my kids will have super powers also. Do I really want to unleash that sort of hell onto the planet? I must think of mankind.

So, I'm doing all sorts of job mojo dances in my occassional bouts of wellness. I usually stop when the asthma kicks in. Turns out "Melanie, Supergirl of Doom" has mortal weaknesses. Damn it. The coughing, the asthma, the allergies. They. Must. Stop. (Kryptonite anyone?) Seriously, couldn't I have something a little less life threatening? Not breathing is hazardous to my health and junk. Could I have leprosy instead? Amoebic dysentery? Bird Flu? I could survive bird flu. Work with me here universe, I have some world conquering to do.

Oh, and that pesky mole?



Hello! I am (was) a mole!

Had it removed this afternoon. Not by choice. There were needles and scalpels involved. I most definitely panicked. I plead in the mole's defense, even. "Please," I cried, "it's kinda easy on the eyes! Can't we consider the cuteness factor of the offending mole? It doesn't mean to offend, I'm sure of it!" All to no avail. Now that the local anesthetic is wearing off, I say "ow".

Of course I had to have a picture of it, seeing as how it now sits in a little petrie dish somewhere and is soon to be poked and prodded and abused in ways a cute little mole should not ever be abused. Especially one that used to live on my body.

Also, Prairie Tunic is finished. Pictures later.

Randomness

Random Things:

*I heart Stephen Colbert.

*Don't tell the nice young man making your burrito that you'd like enough fresh jalepeno to make you hurt but not so much that you scream. He'll just stare at you until you realize that what you've said could be taken in a way you didn't mean and you start to blush.

*I have pain in my lung. One spot in particular (the left lung if you're curious). Had it since the NY trip, though off and on. Today it hurts and is making me a little panicky.

*I also have a funky mole (to go with my funky figs, miss k). Getting it checked out next week. Let's hope there are no needles involved. I will bolt without shame.

*Hubs may have an interview in A-town. Will know more tonight/tomorrow.

*I got offered my old job back, also in A-town. It comes with free rent. Strongly considering.

*Wore a white skirt. And bought coffee. Ordinarily two great things. Sadly, the new stain I have on said skirt is the two headed love child of those happy things. Sometimes two rights make a wrong? I can't know. And I will not wax philosophical on a coffee stain. My brain doesn't have room for that.

*Stepped on a crack in the sidewalk in my cute little heels (that go SO well with my cute little skirt). And then tripped up the stairs to my office. I'm barely in one piece. Nothing broken, but it could have been catastrophic. It certainly didn't earn me any credits for grace. I hope no one saw my ass.

*Tried to reason with Satan. I don't believe in such a being, but if he exists, he's in my proximity for several hours a day. I just nod and smile and remember to not feed him cookies (ever again).


Random shit my friends say to entertain me:

joey says: 'you and your uncanny ability to end a conversation short and abrupt'

ali says: 'Jean-Luc: Perhaps we can have a peaceful negotiation, and learn to live in the same galaxy. Kirk: Fire'

pete says: 'something strange is afoot at the circle k'

alliene says: 'plus: woot'

chris e says: 'and by the way, "American Gods" - when the fuck did you cross the bridge from normal to SuperGeek?'

sasha says: 'when I got home at lunch she (guelita, her grandmother) had all the drawers out of my dresser emptied on the bed and she was sorting my underwear into sinful and not sinful piles. and people wonder why I don't have a vibrator.' (i love you sashita!!!)

Geek Girl Crush

Karen and I discovered this past week that we have a mutual Geek Girl Crush. Not on another girl. Or each other, for that matter. But on Wil Wheaton. Though probably for different reasons.

I love Wil because he's an actor (yes, he still acts, leave the Crusher alone). And reading his posts about auditioning and really putting himself into a role just make my heart ache in such an omg-that's-so-exciting-yet-i could-not-be-more-jealous-if-he-had-all-the-chocolate-pudding-in-the-world sort of way. And, he reads Neil Gaiman. And he likes Death Cab for Cutie. Oh, the crushing could go on and on! (ha! crushing! crusher! i made a pun! ha!) (god i'm lame.)

And I image Karen loves Wil because he's an excellent writer (very important to a Literature scholar), and also because he was on STAR TREK. I never watched the show. Except that one or ten times, whatever. But Wil has a little piece of my heart (cue Janis Joplin), and I accept that I have given it to him.

His most current project especially makes me swoon, and I will be watching. I don't usually do cartoons, except for the occasional South Park episode (I'm serial!), but look out Nickelodeon, Karen and I are tuning in, bitches.

Other than that, I have a lot to say, but for some reason nothing comes out. I have about 5 posts that are half written, even. I can't seem to finish my own thoughts. But I have a geek crush. Oh yes. I do. Cartoons may be my sanity after all.

OOH! And it's my second anniversary with my second husband today. I'm sure there's a metaphor in there somewhere, but I refuse to dig for it.