it's the end of the world as we know it

...and i feel awesome.

shiny happy. orange crushy. hairshirt-esque.

i am the everything.

and i’ve probably been listening to too much rem.

and afi (miss murder is my new fav song), evanescence (amy lee knows just how to crush my soul, and i let her willingly), dixie chicks (i’m not ready to make nice either!), and system of a down (totally in love, again). semi-schizophrenic musical choices, and that’s how I like it.

sadly my office is hung up on some radio station that shall not be named. if i have to hear ‘stairway’ or ‘layla’ one more time (really, three times a day is more than enough), i might choke the next person who walks past me singing either song in absolute mockery of my suffering. that specific coworker (who also shall not be named, but let’s call him "j" just for fun) might be significantly taller and denser than myself, but i think if properly motivated i could manage a good few seconds of airway blockage via my hands around his neck before he casts me off like the wild little animal i will have become under such duress. ahem.

otherwise, things are steady as she goes, lovely, and perfect. i’ve spent the last few weeks working out, hanging out, reading, knitting, and making a few personal decisions and changes. i’ve lost interest in some things and gained newfound love for others. i forced myself to step away from some activities that were sucking the life from me, and frankly, i like the new direction i’ve chosen. i may have a friend or two who disagrees with the changes, but it’s hardly their choice to make, and if they can’t support my efforts to do what’s right for me, they can’t really call themselves my friend. miserable hating-my-life me would have been devastated and willing to do anything to keep said friendship. more normal, happier and balanced me says ‘how sad for you guys...see ya around’.

what a difference a change of perspective makes.

oh. knitting stuff. yeah.

i finished the honeymoon cami. better pictures soon and notes on the changes i made. i ventured into uncharted territory and did a rework on the back to make it a halter instead of a tank. it required math and logic (dear gods) but worked quite nicely.



also working on the so-called scarf when life gets dullish.




and the shedir hat. i'm so slow on this one, but i really have to be in the right mental place for these rounds of cables. (irritated is not one of those places. i'm just sayin.)




and swatching bits of my stash like a mad person for jemima and sizzle.

jemima is getting the debbie bliss cotton angora for certain (yum). teal for the main color, and light blue for the accent parts and button bands.




the verdict on yarn for sizzle is still out. i have a lot of gorgeous yarns that might work, so plenty of excellent potential. there's just the tiny issue of gauge. as ever. i've swatched some knitpicks shine, elann's lara (discontinued i think, but i'm definitely not getting gauge so it's irrelevant), and southwest trading company's Bamboo.




i want the sizzle top to be kind of shiny so i *really* want to use the bamboo, which still looks gorgeous after swatching and washing. well then...i guess i've decided haven't i? despite my misgivings and ignoring all instinct about this yarn (it's slightly scratchy and my stitches look odd to me for some reason), i'm casting on. and there's nothing you can do to stop me. so there.

god i'm stubborn.