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Tuesday, April 11, 2006


Recidivism is the word of the day.

Repeat Offender. That's me. And a few of you others out there. But I'm not naming names because that's your problem, not mine.

As Duckie says in "Pretty in Pink"...Do I offend? Oh, yes, and how.

1. I got a second (ahem, third) parking ticket this week. Oops. Good thing they're only $10 each. Still, I should try to rectify my need to park directly in front of my building. Must be because I'm always late or something.

2. I'm always late. If I arrive early, people think I'm sick or there's something devastatingly wrong with me. "You're on time?!? Do you need to see a doctor? Is someone dead? Did you run out of ice cream?" I stopped making excuses for being late a long time ago. No point in lying about it. There wasn't any traffic, my dog/cat/grandfather/fourth nephew is not sick, and my clothes did not get burned in the dryer. I'm just late.

3. I have a habit of "just going to look" at expensive things, and suddenly making a fairly major, life altering purchase. Specific cases: 2002: my Civic Hybrid, 2004: my insanely expensive engagement ring (I got to pick it and all, you know. And yes it was the most expensive thing in the store. I'm evil. And yet somehow he still loves me. Clearly, he's insane. And I am awesome.) 2006: Nate's brand new Toyota Matrix. You can sorta see the butt end of my car on the right. It's not near as clean and new car smelly, but it's cute (and liberal, yay!)!

Maybe in 2008 it will be a house. Cause that is officially on the back burner, thanks to Purchase 2006. But we needed a new car because that old Jeep was on its last wheel. Poor thing. I think I got a little teary over trading it in. Nobody loves your old piece of shit the way you do. Ya'll know. Also, you know my head is fucked when my retail therapy session is a $20k ding. What? I'm totally fine.

4. Flaking on my competition. Nicole and Pete are going to kick my ass, literally. This makes about the 7,438th time that I've flaked. I think it's cool and I would look really amazing and I have so much admiration for those who can do it, but I just don't have the determination and give-a-shit to diet that hard for 4 straight months. That, and I'm too easily upset and ice cream is my savior. Amen. Praise the Neopolitan Dynamite.

But it's really sad when the Ben & Jerry's gets melty. I didn't even have the stomach to eat it. Also, hello messy desk from hell. I take notes on everything and I never throw any of it away.

5. I'm compulsively honest. Which is sometimes considered offensive. Not that I can't lie and get away with it. But I prefer to lay things out on the table and make people look at stuff. It might be my stuff, and it might be theirs. Funny how most people don't like being called on their shit though. And sad really, because you can't deal with the issues you're facing if you don't LOOK AT THEM. Hiding behind a false reality is the coward's way out (Yet, I know, sometimes the only way to deal with some shit. But still). So instead I'm honest about who I am and what I'm going through (except for right now, cause um...I gotta get through it first, then we'll talk). And I gladly and willingly offer up my shit to be called upon. I kinda dig it, because it means you care enough to say "Hey! You're being a total fucking idiot!". Thanks for the love.

So in conclusion, I repeatedly offend on many occasions and I'm ok. And CAP was right about my horoscope, which is not something I ever believe in, but is a good way to make me giggle. In March, she was dead on: There has been a lot of chatter in your life, and almost none of it has been true or real (how sad). April too is correct: Your month is going to really suck.

Good thing I have sweet animals to keep me in bed and make me sleep. Murphy likes to snuggle so close that I get hot and have to stick my feet out of the covers. Then he plays "Chase The Toes" with his claws. Taylor just likes being on the bed, and Molly is only here because she loves that dog. Still, I am asleep, so all is right with the world.

Also, all my pillow are belong to Tristan.