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Sunday, November 27, 2005

So Called Booga

Ah, Thanksgiving. Usually a time for, well, thanks. And family. And lots of food. Lots.

My family is, well, a little different. Oh there was plenty of food. All ten of us ate for two whole days and still had plenty left over. And we were thankful for it, and for each other.

So why is it that I'm ready to go back home in about an hour, even after a seven hour drive? Maybe it's the subtle guilt trips from the step-dad about not visiting often enough. Maybe it's the not-so-subtle guilt trips from grandma for never being good enough. But it's not just me, that particular guilt trip applies to everyone. Maybe it's the unhappiness that pervades my older brother's every fiber, from his pending divorce (which we can all see, but he can't) to his constant physical misery. Maybe it's my aunt's sad emotionally abusive marriage that everyone acknowledges but she refuses to leave.

But, I don't drive home despite all the white elephants having one hell of a tea party in my parent's living room. Despite the constant references to my black sheep status for having tattoos and piercings and standing up for myself by divorcing my first (alcoholic) husband and marrying someone I really love. Despite the fact that I want to scream for everyone to just be honest with each other and deal with all the issues that we all know about but won't discuss.

I stay because I love them, despite their flaws and blindnesses. If we were all married, well, I'd probably get a divorce. But still. Family is family, and I can do the best I can for them by loving them unconditionally. By honoring their choices and not criticizing them. By smiling knowingly when they beg me not to get any more tattoos or move to Colorado, or to please hurry up and have children (ahem, no thanks, not on your life....yet).

And instead of expressing my frustrations to their fullest extent, I thank the universe for everything I can think of (including my slightly disfunctional family), and especially those things that I believe are possible. Because you don't have anything if you don't have hopes and dreams. And family is just a bunch of people around a table without being grateful for them, regardless of everything else.

And now some knitting!

This is Booga, pre-felting, pre-assembly:

This is Booga, post felting and assembly:

Not too shabby, eh? It's not actually as crooked or asymmetrical as it appears, I just suck at taking pics. I even had one of myself, but...erm...yeah, it was scrapped immediately!

Upcoming posts include the completed scarf, which will now go to my aunt, a competition plan, some yarnporn, and the unabashed beating of my internal editor, who I'm nicknaming Bree Van de Camp. You'll meet her soon enough, though you can probably guess what kind of psycho prude she is.